Carry Me

I had a long nap this afternoon, and ran a bunch of errands this morning. It's been a dull day, but a day nonetheless. I've been having to take my antipsychotics more frequently. When there's a night I feel like I know I'll be up for a while, taking the pill helps me fall asleep, but makes the next day feel rather sluggish. I have to drink more caffeine to stay afloat, but even then I'll still have to nap so that my energy doesn't completely dip. It's a strange thing with me, because I know that it would be better to be sober, but I have to take drugs to stay sane. It's a twisted kind of irony; there are some drugs that make you insane, and in order to stay sane, I have to take different, more powerful drugs. I feel like a pharmacological experiment gone awry, and even though I don't have any substance abuse problems that would necessitate going to some kind of rehab again—I just feel like it's a kind of problem that won't ever go away. As I've been growing in my faith, one of my…