The System Go to bed.Close your eyes. Available in four tiers:Basic: €47.99 Includes the system. Pro: €97.99 Includes the system and a guided audio recording of someone telling you to close your eyes. It is eleven minutes long. There are approximately four instructions. Each one is acknowledged. Founder's Circle: €247.99 Includes the system, the audio recording, a signed certificate confirming you have been told to go to bed, a sleep tracking journal with one column, and an enamel pin that says "Rested." Legacy Tier: €1,997 Includes everything above plus a 7-minute voice note from Gareth saying your name while lying down, a vial of sacred Welsh nocturnal essence (tap water from his kitchen, collected after dark), and lifetime access to the private Telegram group where members argue about whether lying awake counts as sleep if your eyes are closed. Free BonusThe Traditional Valley Sleep Checklist™ Two items: go to bed, close your eyes. Available as a Notion template with 14 toggle…
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