70% alcohol means 30% water

A few years ago I upgraded my laptop, leaving me with a MacBook Pro from 2014 which was on what I thought were it's last legs. Its substitute was a heavy gaming laptop which could run all the programs I needed for work and play 20 year old isometric games at ultra. The days were full of rejoicing, until I needed to lug the 3kg thing around in my bag on work trips. Having been torn from the freedom of mobility, I realised that my old MacBook could still be of use. I installed Fedora on it, and to my surprise it worked even better than when it had Mac OS. I praised the Omnissiah, but a problem remained: the battery was basically useless. Having been considering swapping it for ages, I bit the bullet, and with tears streaming a purchase was made. As soon as it arrived, I prepared the table, read the instructions and put myself to work. Pouring copious amounts of 70% alcohol I worked my way beneath the batteries, tearing them out. Seeing as the laptop has never been opened, I took the…