Just Use Java Man

Based on Just Fucking Use Go Yo, you just wanna build something that works? Do you have a Device that goes blep blop, chances are that there is a JVM for it. Brother I do not care what is trending at the moment, Java has been sitting here chugging along for decades. "But muh performance" my man the JVM is fast. But be honest with yourself, do you really need that something that is ultra optimized, or do you just need something that works and is fast enough? You want to use a library, but they use maven and you use gradle? Good thing this aint C/C++, as long as you can get your hands on a .jar or whatever, you're good. But now your boss want this application to be hosted in the cloud? Well just package it in a docker image with your JVM of choice, shit'l run anywhere now. Oh you want to stay relevant in the job market? Anyone who has worked in enterprise knows that snails can travel magnitudes faster than a stack-update project. Java is not going anywhere, good luck getting hired as a…