Ready to Leave

It’s been almost a year now since things started changing. not fully a year yet, but close enough that i notice it constantly. sometimes i try to remember what life felt like before all of this and it honestly feels far away already, like i’m remembering somebody else’s life instead of my own. I keep wondering whether things are eventually supposed to go back to how they were before or if this is simply what my life is now. everyone says periods of suffering eventually pass, but i don’t really know if this feels temporary anymore. it’s not constant sadness or panic or anything obvious like that, but it’s more like emptiness. everything feels flattened out. days pass very quickly and then suddenly weeks are gone and i can barely remember what happened inside them sometimes i genuinely can’t remember what i did yesterday unless i stop and force myself to think through it carefully, entire months feel blurred together. even memories from a few years ago feel distant now, like they belong…