Making a Decent Vegan Ranch Dressing

If, like me, you have ever lived in the U.S.A., and if, like me, you are of a sufficiently distinguished BMI so as to rank highly the invention of comestibles, you will agree[1] that Ranch (enPR: rāyŭnch) dressing is one of the great American inventions—right up there with the cotton gin, surgical anesthesia, and the modern assembly line. This bottle is about half empty already. For those unfamiliar with the condiment, Ranch dressing is a tangy, herbaceous, and unsettlingly white sauce of moderate viscosity intended for use as a salad dressing. In practice, it is also used as a dip for everything from fresh vegetables to fried foods, and a general purpose condiment that you might find in or on anything from pizzas to sandwiches. These days, Ranch dressing is essentially a cool, green-flecked, less-sweet alternative to ketchup, only limited in its uses by your imagination. The flavor is peculiar. It’s creamy, tangy, savory, and herbal all at once in a way that is all its own. Is it any…