We Need to Talk

Life throws you lemons. It’s an inescapable fact of… well, life. And at some point, you’re going to need someone who can help you decide between lemonade and a whiskey sour. I have a small, but very select, highly discerning circle for just such an occasion. It’s my cat, Luffy. Now, before you roll your eyes at me, just know that Luffy is an exceptional listener. Truly world-class. You can sit there and pour out your deepest concerns – career dilemmas, relationship questions, existential crises – and he will stare at you with an intensity that suggests he is either processing every word… or calculating whether you might be edible. I’m not 100% convinced it’s not the latter. And the beauty of his advice is its objectivity. Utter, pristine objectivity. Because he has no emotional investment whatsoever. He doesn’t care how things turn out for you. As long as his meals arrive on time and the general standard of cushion softness is maintained, your life choices are largely your own affair.…