Stages of Love

Everyone knows about child development; adult development is less appreciated. One aspect of adult development is the maturation of long-term love. Young Love This is the period characterized by looking long and deeply into the lover’s eyes. The world disappears and the only thing that matters is what is seen in those scrying orbs. This period is well documented (see the pop music charts of the last seventy years) and, unfortunately, grasped too tightly by people who do not realize it is meant to be a phase, not a permanent condition. That mistake is the source of a great deal of misery. Striving Love This is the period in which the lovers break the mutual gaze long enough to begin building the world seen in each other’s eyes. The mutual gaze is re-engaged less and less often because they’re busy! This is also the most perilous time of the relationship (see the country music charts of the last seventy years). The danger lies in two directions: 1. The work is hard and one or both…