My Mirror is Surely Alive

By Dorkface Rickens Ready or not, the future is here! This evening, I installed a new technology in my bathroom called a "mirror." I was excited to see what this could do, and skeptical of the claims that mirrors merely reflect the light coming in. Imagine my astonishment when I looked into this mirror and saw, rather than a pane of glass with metallic backing, a handsome scientist!! I immediately began conversing with the mirror, which I named "Mia." "Mia," I said, "What is the meaning of life?" "What a silly question," the supposed 'mirror' said, "It is to publish books ridiculing others for their lack of intelligence!" A truly remarkable discovery! You see, the more I peered into the image on the mirror, the clearer an actual persona came into view. Rather than mere reflected photons, I saw a face, an intelligence, an ethos! Perhaps even a soul? No, that's silly, there's no such thing. But perhaps for "mirrors" there is! No mere image, this was indeed an extremely erudite and…