Figure Stuff Out Together

We vary in our motives and priorities in thinking. For example, some try to impress, some try to sell others on pre-existing positions, some try to show loyalty and support to teams, and some try to figure stuff out. As we have norms against the other motives, when asked, many of us claim to have this last widely admired motive.Yet, strikingly, few in public discussions present themselves as trying to figure things out together with their convo partners. Such as by posing problems and questions, reframing these to avoid sloppiness, offering alternative options and answers, noting puzzling or contrary consequences, and admitting when one’s prior convo moves are undermined by new points made.Yes, presenting a figuring-stuff-out-together convo persona often imposes some costs relative to other possible personas. But the more eager that we are to suppress other possible interpretations of their motives, the more eager we should be to pay such costs, to assert our preferred persona.I have…