notes on giving compliments

I grew up not being great at giving compliments. This was because I often saw grown-ups around me deploy compliments in a fake, ritualistic way. This made me overcorrect by holding back my appreciation for other people's gifts as some kind of misguided rebellion against fake compliments.There are many good reasons to compliment people. The most important reason is that it's important information transmission. I've found it hard to discern how good my choices are. Well-crafted compliments from friends and family have helped me make better choices.This frame has helped me guide how I compliment people. I try to craft compliments in a way that maximises the transmission of useful and valuable information. I want the person I admire to know what the admirable thing is that they are doing so that they do more of it. It also opens doors to conversations that help me understand what helps people do admirable things and how they do it.It starts with a feeling of admiration. Often this can be…