SPECIMEN #016: Suggestio luminosa auricularis (The Enlightened Headset: Or How to Sell Someone a Lie-Down with Lights for $647)

Classification: Cognitive Grifter / Neuro-Optimisation Device / Audio-Visual Shaman Habitat: App stores, wellness newsletters, bedrooms containing a charging cable and steadily diminishing expectations Diet: Sleep anxiety, habit guilt, and the enduring hope that change can be downloaded Threat Level: To your wallet, your attention span, and the long-standing belief that listening quietly is sufficient There is an app. There is also a headset. The headset has lights. The app is $29.99 a month. The headset is $647. It cannot be returned. This is described, in the product listing, as "final sale." Ordinary headphones with no lights are available from approximately £12.99. These are not the same headphones. The Origin StoryDr. Patrick Porter, founder and CEO, began with a passion for neuropsychology and a belief that neuroplasticity had the potential to transform countless lives. This is admirable. His insight was that hypnosis, an established practice with a documented role in relaxation…