The New Kid on the Block

There’s something unsettling about being the new kid on the block, even as an adult. It’s not super obvious, at least not like back then when you were a literal child. No one is pointing or whispering. There’s no cafeteria to navigate or classroom to choose a seat in. The feeling of being in those scenarios show up always, just in a different kind of way. It’s the hesitation before saying something out loud, the extra time spent double (and triple) checking something that would normally feel simple, and the awareness that everyone else seems to know what they’re doing. I started somewhere new three weeks ago. In the grand scheme of things, three weeks isn’t a long time. I get that. If anyone else said that to me, I’d tell them to give themselves more grace, to take their time, to settle in. As always, in my head, it sounds different. It’s more like: it’s already week three. You should have a better handle on things by now. I really don’t though. Not fully. There are still gaps here…