1 hour ago · Music · 0 comments

Damn you Mixtape. This site was dead. June 1st I was going to hang it up, take it down and move on with my life. Then IGN decided to give “shitape” a 10/10. I had to play it now. So I did. For exactly 5 minutes, before my brain was bleeding out of my ears with how bad it is. I couldn’t take it anymore. Thankfully, I didn’t have to pay for it, directly. It came with Xbox Gamepass Ultimate. I will now regale you with how absolutely terrible Mixtape is. Mixtape’s First Five Minutes. No! Mixtape opens with Girl Boss talking about how cds are future of music, basically an ad pitch, in an annoying tone. The dialog was written and delivered by people who forgot how people actually talk, especially teenagers. Then your buddies show up, you skateboard down a mountain to the credits, popping pointless tricks if you want, while Devo plays. Then you hang out in front of your house talking about your bodacious plan. Then you go inside, your dad yells to call your sister, and my brain liquefied.…

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