Marionette

I used to be a puppet, and now I'm an automaton. For the longest of time, I felt like life was just happening to me. I was going with the flow. Not because I wanted to drift, but because I had no other option. I never had any hobbies because everything felt like too much effort. I know... what a cliché, but if you read any of my other posts about ADHD (or if you have ADHD yourself), you understand exactly what I mean. Sure, I played video games all day, but I wouldn't call that a hobby. It was more of a necessary escape. It was either that or some much, much worse coping mechanism. Sometimes I catch myself thinking about high school late at night. Not because I have any fond memories. Quite the opposite. I keep thinking about my "hardcore self-improvement era" I had when the Covid pandemic was in full force. We were stuck at home with distance learning. Don't get me wrong, it was nice to stay inside and play video games most of the day with my classmates. But I realized how much this…