We are trying to make a baby | Part 3 (and other random thoughts)

It didn't work. Exactly two weeks after artisanal insemination, after a long wait filled with hope, my pregnancy test came back negative. My periods came on the exact day I turned 30. It will take a couple of days for me to recover from this. Once again, we're shifting my hormonal medication from progesterone to FSH. It's like beings pulled from cold water to magma every 15 days. Like a lobster... That's it, I feel like a lobster in a boiling pot: extravagant, stranded, lonely, half-cooked. I'm thinking about applying for a job, but working even a couple of weeks would jeopardize for me the possibility to get disability benefits. Not a great move when you are disabled in a rural area, but I'm bored and I want to work. The other day I asked Reddit for some guidance on how to navigate a random daily chore. An insane number of redditors mocked me for trying to make a baby as someone who struggles with disability on a daily basis. So, yeah, I feel lonely. For a moment I thought I should…