Eels

Good times at the Ely Eel Festival. Running since 2004, it lacks some of the historical oomph of the Mari Lwyd (1800) or the Burryman (pre-1687) but we all start somewhere. The eel throwing was well attended and competition was stiff, but I took to it like an eel in water, which is a real phrase. Since the majority of contestants were either small children or adults who didn’t want to look like they were trying too hard, I think with a little practice I could have really blown those suckers away. Except the children, who I would have graciously allowed to win. Previous years have featured a town crier competition. My outrage at its omission this year is unbounded. They had a big tank of demonstration eels. Apparently, they scoop them out of the river for the festival and dump them back when they’re done, which I imagine from the perspective of an eel is pretty close to alien abduction. Living in a city, working a remote tech job, and regularly eating food from hundreds or thousands of…