Revisions

Here are some examples of revision following draft submission to make the content fit within layout constraints. These examples are from my incursion, "Mallock's Maze," submitted for Ruin: An Anthology of One Shots. These are "props," in the design language of Trophy, so they are the narratively dense, interactable pieces of a module. Kind of like highlights for the GM or points of focus for players. They hold story, treasure for the characters, and/or dangers. Anyway, here they are: A Garden PartyOriginal Draft Refreshments: A lavish spread of foods and drinks are carefully laid out on a table, which is periodically refreshed by staff. No one touches any of the food. Poisoning guests through food is such an overwhelmingly common tactic that any food or drink is just ceremonial. Luckily for the treasure-hunters, the governess nor her staff have poisoned anything. Other guests will watch the treasure-hunters with bewilderment if they sample the food and drink. Maestre ils Bohlt:…