124 - ache

take your meds. no- not those ones. those ones just make you crazy. and those ones make you tired. and those ones- okay, take some of your meds. the ones that dont make things worse. go see your friends. no- not those ones. they're busy. and they're not answering. and they're- okay, but be grateful that you saw them not long ago. stay calm. one more evening isolated isn't that bad, right? a bunch of funny little warnings flash in your peripheral vision. "days since last spiral", something about a sanity meter, a little counter next to a box of cigarettes. thats stupid. none of this is a game. take it seriously. take some deep breaths. ignore the ache in your chest. its just the cigarette smoke. thats a known symptom, its got nothing to do with the rest of it. go and lay down. close your eyes. sleep will come soon, i promise. just as soon as you've relived one stupid thing you said, and rehearsed two conversations in advance so it doesnt happen again, and daydreamed about three things…