Croc (For Game Boy Color)

Ceci n’est pas un crocodile. And it’s not exactly croquant (crispy) either. Croc, Argonaut Software’s 1997 3D platformer debut, makes its way onto the Game Boy Color because… well… the GBC library was riddled with poor ports, swamped with crappy licensed games, and flooded with Pokémon rip-offs, and Croc had to be a part of it? Because that’s what it is: a poor representation of a crocodile that’s supposed to be adept at platforming but fumbles when it comes to a dimension less. The cartridge was still inside my Analogue Pocket when I recharged it to enjoy some of that shovelware goodness—my wife insists on trying it again and again, putting it aside in disgust again and again. So I thought, hey, it can’t be that bad, I’ve played Commander Keen and Speedy Gonzales so I can handle the jank. Well, I was wrong. It’s worse than Speedy which is one of the worst I played on the system. At first it felt like one of those average David A. Palmer Productions entries, but they are not involved.…