Swaggering into the sunset

When driving home from work yesterday, I noticed a guy swaggering on the side of the road. He was dressed in all black, with black sunglasses, a black cap, and black cloth bands that covered both forearms and left his elbows exposed - like he had injuries and needed compression wear. Dude loved black. He swaggered like a champion. I'm sure I saw a tiny tight grin, like he'd just pulled off a small heist and decided that swaggering was the most appropriate way to leave the scene in style. His arms swung loose and wide, like those guys who work out a lot at the gym and seem to have a rockmelon stuck in their armpits. Another guy called out to black swagger and he turned around and shouted back. This other guy was dressed in blue jeans and a bright orange hi-vis vest. He swaggered too. I think he was stuffing even bigger rockmelons. As I drove past, it looked like black swagger and orange swagger were having a swagger competition. They were both smiling though, so I figured it was a…