The Things We Avoid

There are things we don’t like to acknowledge about ourselves, or at least about what happens in our inner lives. Lately, I’ve been thinking about one such thing I have experienced. I have these moments where I will see or briefly interact with someone and hear a “micro judgment” run through my mind. As soon as I notice it, I’m briefly taken aback. I think, where did that come from? and why would I think that? Then I go on about my day. I seem to become more aware of these little moments now that I have taken time to recognize them. I’m intrigued by them. I have theorized that perhaps they’re “not my own.” Maybe they come from the collective field. Or maybe it’s some “dark” aspect of myself. I don’t really know. I’ll see someone and hear a thought like “oh, they’re fat” or “they must be lazy.” The list goes on. Just small judgments and stereotyping. I was outside watching the morning dew, the sun rising over the horizon with birds singing around me, tea in hand. I was thinking again…