The More Music I Make, the Less I Want to Be a Musician

I don’t ever remember not wanting to be a musician. But what that meant has really shifted throughout the years. I wanted to be a musician. I wanted to be adored as a musician. I wanted to walk into a room and have people say, “There’s the musician.” And this kind of grew in me over the years, even though I wasn’t really making music. I was giving myself a hard time about it, but what I was really doing was listening (which nbenifits me days after day today). And the need to make it wasn’t strong. When I got a horrible guitar when I was little, I didn’t fight for a better one. I took my bike up to the music store to play this one bass all the time, but I didn’t fight to get a job or whatever to get it bought. And I did for other things. So that’s interesting. But now—later in life, I do music all the time. And the more music I do, the less I want to be, air quotes, “a musician.” I don’t go to work wearing a Fender shirt or bitch about musician problems on the internet. I just kind of…