Yogis

I've never met a yogi. I've met many people performing yoga theater, but not one yogi. How do I define it? With unusual tolerance. Just two simple asks: 1. You invest 99% or less of your energy into ego gratification (with — and this is critical — a downward trend), and 2. You spend 99% or less of your time posing (with a downward trend). Instead, they grow egomaniacal about their glorious egolessness (awareness of pride ---> pride of awareness), and they strike a flamboyant pose of non-pretension. In other words: yoga theater. When someone informs you they are "spiritual", it's helpful to hear the opposite. All you know for certain is that a pellet of gluten might fucking kill them. And if they've metastasized to the point where they display perma-smiles, soften their voices to a velvety hush, and thrust forward the deep, vast, profound pools that are their eyes in the same way a stripper would proffer her tits, best to steer clear. Spirituality claims to renounce image-signaling,…